Pissed off-ness

Well, I'm back in Brussels for a few days.

I was expecting it to be great.
For weeks I've been sick of Preston and wanting to go home, to have my own bed, a big house, a garden, my dog - to have more room.
And I've been counting down the days.
And I was so glad to go home.

Now I'm home.
It was great when I got here
- my dog, lots of room, nice food, fresh air

Then I went to the school's 50th, and that sucked.

Back at home, with my mum - I should have known it would suck.
We still don't get along and she is still the same old angry narrow-minded short-tempered woman as always.
I can't bloody stand her

This holiday SUCKS

and I now cannot wait to go back to Preston
to be with my friends, to go out clubbing, but I know that as soon I get back, I'll wish I were home.

this really really REALLY fucking sucks

.

Today I had my last exam

Today I officially finished my first year of uni.

It's gone by so fast

It's scary

Exams and worrying about them and the things I do to avoid them

So today I had my 2nd exam.

My first exam was biology last week, and that went ok I guess.
It was 40multiple choice questions and then 5long answer questions.
Think the multiple choice went ok. BUT the long answer questions, I know I seriously fucked one of them up, and then another I'm not too sure about.. and GAH

Today I had anthropology - 50multiple choice questions - finished in 15minutes.
I think I made at least about 8-10mistakes, but ah well, it's 0.25 of a mark off for every mistake, so I should still be fine... right...? and what if I made more mistakes than that.?

Now I have one left, the worst, the hardest, oh yes, the dreaded CHEMISTRY!
I have not yet started studying (not a good thing I hear you say), nope, not a good thing at all, but I will, well, I PLAN to study and work my arse off for it, and hopefully it will go ok, well... as long as I don't fail it.


I've relaxed today, bought a book in HMV
"The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy & other stories" by Tim Burton

READ IT!

The stories are short (as in some are about 10lines long!), and it's all online riiiiight here http://homepage.eircom.net/~sebulbac/burton/home.html


Also, I bought more Disney stickers and have finally finished decorating my laptop

The front (excuse the fuzzy piccy, but you get the idea, it doesn't have to be perfect for you to figure out it's covered in beautiful disney stickers)

yes that IS a clip from Pocahontas!
and Yes that IS the lovely mouse-pad that Esu gave me hanging up on the wall. Tis too pretty to use as a mouse-pad.


aaaand the back

Today

Today makes 5 years.

:-(

mood : upset
methods of cheering up :
-Ben & Jerry's
- Disney

more randoms avoiding studying

Again, I am bored and doing the most random things in order to avoid studying.

I have just bought paper and pens for which to write notes as I had run out.
Therefore I am ready to study, paper, pens, highlighters, open powerpoint presentations, but NO I bought stickers instead.
I removed the nail varnish from my laptop and now am sticking Disney stickers all over it, hehehehe
grey laptop is too boring, colourful disney-stickered laptop is better


on a different note
I've been let down :(
by my mother.. I guess I shouldn't be surprised..
She was supposed to come to the UK to help me carry all my stuff home as I have quite a bit of stuff and carrying all home on my own is..well, it would be rather difficult.
But now, she can't make it, "it's too expensive" and a load of other excuses
which means that I have to go home for a week, then back to the Uk for a week and then BACK AGAIN to Belgium

It's gonna suck

Boredom and randoms

Firstly, WHY is it that when I wear my boots - my new platform heels (piccy just below) people stare at me and either the girls think I'm some sort of slut, and some guys think it's weird and give me bitch looks, whilst other guys check me out and give me a cheeky grin.
I mean, I love my boots, why can't people just accept that I have a different style without assuming that these boots are Slut boots and think that is a good thing or a bad thing.
I was having a cigarette outside my flat and this guy gave me a cheeky grin and said "getting lucky tonight?!"

Moving on,
being bored, having nail varnish and already having painted my nails AND having a plain grey laptop has made me colour bits and bobs of my laptop with my lovely nail varnish xD.

On a better note, the other day I had an AMAZING dream.
It was me, random people from tv shows I find hilarious, this one hot actor I have a slight obsession with for now (which should pass soon...) and the best part of the dream, it was me, Esu, Vikki and Sophie. The 4 of us, together being random and laughing and smiling. And it made me smile - I remember in the dream I was smiling and laughing and I felt so happy -

I felt at home

I MISS YOU MY BELOVED FRIENDS!!!

mood : unsure ... :(
music : Porcelain and the Tramps - Sugar Cube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSHjW38bilQ

Randomness distracts the mind from exams

Well, it's that dreaded time of EXAMS.

Fine, I only have 3, but still, the biology one is insanely filled with genetics! reason? - next year's biology module is "forensic genetics", so you need to understand the EASY (apparently) first year's genetics in order to be even remotely ok for next year's HARD genetics... ah well

Then CHEMISTRY! omfg I'm so scared of failing that! I will have to work work work work my arse off for it. Granted it's in 2weeks, but still, I'm panicking about it right now (or maybe I'm just hungry?...)

On a different note - I miss singing, and acting - so bloody much.
But here the walls are so thin I can hear my neighbours upstairs when their front door shuts, so were I to start singing.... yeah...
Though my flat is slowly starting to empty, I am actually alone in the flat atm. And yesterday saw lots of people in other flats packing their stuff and leaving.
I guess as all lectures are finished and it's just the exams, they are all going home and will just come in for the 2hour exam...
but I am stuck here in this shiteasstic flat and can't bloody stand it. Can't wait to go home. But of course, I have too much stuff to take back on my own, means my mother will come and help me take stuff, which means it has to be ok with her work timetable, which...blows.
And in the meantime, I can't go out drinking because a) I've hardly any money left and b) I have to study.
And as I hardly have any money, I can't go out shopping, can't buy new things to distract myself from the studying, which I guess in itself is a good thing - can't see the positive side of it myself.


On a lighter note, my piercing is healing, granted it's taking fuck ages, but still. And I can finally eat normally, still can't really brush my teeth easily, but I'll have to make do with it being really awkward until I but a new stud.

A little piccy for the end of this boring ranting post?

ok, a piccy it'll be